INTROVERTS &
EXTROVERTS
Introverts tend to be quiet in group settings. They interact more comfortably in smaller groups, and keep themselves more at a distance from other people.
Extroverts tend to be more outgoing. They usually talk to people more readily, and are less shy when in group settings.
(I tend to think of introverts as "innies" because they spend time in their heads, and extroverts as "outies" because they are so outgoing.)
WHICH ONE?
Do you know which one you are? Look at how you spend your time and answer this question:
Which activities make me feel more energized?
- If you find that the time you spend interacting with other people is where you “reset,” and you come out of those experiences feeling better or even “refocused,” then you’re an extrovert.
- If you find that you are re-centered and reenergized after having spent some time on your own – be it with your nose in a book, or an a walk alone, quietly thinking, or however you choose to spend that downtime --- then you’re an introvert.
WHY DOES IT MATTER?
Planning:
Knowing your tendency to be either extroverted or introverted can help you understand which types of social environments you will do well in naturally, and which situations will bring you a greater challenge.
For example: Let’s say that this Saturday night you will be attending a party where you won’t know too many people. If you are an extrovert, you likely have habits and skills already in place to help you manage a social environment mostly full of strangers; if you are an introvert, it will probably take more work for you to access skills to help you manage that party. This is not to say that the extrovert will necessarily enjoy the party any more than the introvert. Rather, the extrovert will have easier access to the nerve and skills necessary to manage the event effectively.
On the other hand, let’s say you are interested in taking a new job that requires a lot more alone-time than your current job entails. If you are an introvert, that is probably an excellent opportunity for you. In fact, the alone time might even be one of the reasons you are attracted to that job and will likely thrive in it. As an extrovert, the alone-time that this proposed job entails should raise some concerns. It would be wise to learn what communicative outlets there will be to help you balance that alone-time before you decide to pursue that opportunity.
Limits & Re-Charging:
We all have limits, and it’s important to know what they are and also how to serve ourselves best when we get near them. The limit might be fatigue or stress, or it could be over- or under-stimulation, hunger… many things can take us to our limit.
Knowing what those limits feel like can help you manage your energy. If you are feeling run down, knowing how you recharge can help you do so more quickly and efficiently. You can discern, at that extreme moment, what you need and also what you may need to say “no” to:
· If you are an introvert that has had a full day of interaction and you are feeling overwhelmed, you recognize the importance of finding some time to power-down and reset before tonight’s business dinner if you are going to be your best.
· Conversely, if you are an extrovert that has been locked in your office alone all day, you might realize that your desire to interact is a bit on the high side and that you are better served to find a social outlet to defuse your need to interact just a little before you show up at the business dinner, so that you don’t come across too strongly.
The Middle
It is possible that you land someplace between introvert and extrovert. It may even be circumstantial – that you are usually one, but in particular circumstances you behave like the other.
For example, I am distinctly an extrovert who can talk to
just about anyone anytime. However, if you put me in a room with a mass of
people mingling about, I can get incredibly distracted. The buzz of people
overwhelms me, and it impedes my ability to have a normal conversation. I have
learned how to manage this distraction, but it has taken a lot of time and
experience to get my head around it. Conversely, I can reach a level of exhaustion that requires
me to find some serious alone-time. However, I can only stay in that alone-time
for so long before am craving people again. So, at my base I am definitely
extroverted, and interaction is how I recharge and reset. At the same time, there are situations that bring out the introvert in me.
We each have our needs, our limits, and our natural skills. Knowing what they are, recognizing how they feel, and learning to access them can bring us a sense of control over the various events that make up our lives.
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